Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I cannot find my penis.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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