This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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