I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
