Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
