I wish my penis had an off switch
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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