He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
