Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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