I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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