$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
