Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
