But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
