is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize