i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
