Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just high enough for therapy.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
