I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
