I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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