All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
