its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
