yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize