As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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