ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
