I wannas sexs uuuuu
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
