You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
