My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize