There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
