porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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