The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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