you would pick up someone in the library
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
