I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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