I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
