I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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