i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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