So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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