I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
