he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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