you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
