are you still at the devil's house?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
