What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
