and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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