I smell stomach acid.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
