At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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