lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
