I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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