Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
