just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
