real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
