after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
