do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
