38 yer olds are good kisserssss
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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