Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
