i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
