It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you didnt know i had herpes?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
