I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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