it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Boobs are out for the taking
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize