maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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