my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Congratulations! We have a period
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
