Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Everyone says I win the strip club
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
