That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
