I wish I could punch you in the face.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
