# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
