Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
the raccoons are back...
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